When was the last time you heard of a naked man stealing a fire truck? Well, in nearby Beaufort-Port Royal, SC, off-island from Hilton Head, the local fire department was answering a medical call and attending to a needy person. The next thing they knew, an individual sans clothing, jumped into their fire engine and sped off with it. On-lookers noted the high speed of the fire engine. The first bad thing happened at the next intersection when it plowed into seven vehicles. That didn't stop the fellow though. His next feat of stupidity was striking one of two pedestrians walking beside the highway in front of the Dollar General store. That individual was declared dead at the scene.
One rubber-necker declared: "I've never seen a fire truck come out of nowhere like that. The truck did not have its lights on. I knew it wasn't a fireman behind the wheel. It was faster than I've ever seen any fire truck go. And I've seen my fair share of fire trucks." Was this guy's name maybe Bubba?
The collision with the pedestrian caused the fire truck to spin out of control, whence it next crashed into a wooded area between the Dollar General and a bowling alley. The crash extensively damaged the truck and pinned the driver inside. When Port Royal Police arrived, the captive driver began fighting them and had to be subdued. It made me wonder if the jaws of life needed to be employed to extricate him, and if so, just how carefully they had to be utilized. At any rate, Mr "free-as-a-bird" is currently incarcerated and charged with two counts of assault and battery on a police officer, as well as resisting arrest. Nothing was mentioned about any charges of vehicular manslaughter or even about property damage... [information drawn from the 24 February issue of the Island Packet]
Okay, so now you're beginning to seriously wonder about the sanity of the nearby crackers when only two days previous to above's amazing incident it had probably already been confirmed.
In the outbound or west lanes on Highway 278, a four-lane, high speed thoroughfare, and the only egress (other than by boat) from Hilton Head Island, two cars overturned on the Graves Bridge above Skull Creek. Traffic was clogged for hours as medics extricated the victims from the wreckage of their automobiles, both of which actually climbed onto the guard rails and dangled precariously upside-down. One driver had to be taken by helicopter to Savannah, while the other was treated at Hilton Head Hospital and later released.
As it happened, I was traveling with Mike my golfing buddy back onto the island and passed the scene of the accident in one of the eastbound lanes. It was absolutely spectacular and as bad a crash as I've ever seen. I thought perhaps it was a sudden lane change gone crazy and genuinely made me wonder how either driver or passengers could have survived. But that was all I knew at the time...
The next day's paper showed the crash scene, but didn't contain much information. It wasn't until the day after that [24 February issue of the Island Packet] that details emerged. So here's what occurred. A 42 year old local woman was traveling west, mid-morning, in her Mustang at highway speed and in traffic when she was bumped from behind by a 34 year old male driving a Honda. She was able to keep control of her vehicle. However, the Honda then backed off, sped up and suddenly intentionally smashed into her full force. This impact sent both cars careening in different directions, with both vehicles finally landing atop the bridge guardrails, one on either side.
A lover's quarrel gone crazy? The worst case of road rage imaginable? Most likely. As it turned out, the female driver was from nearby Bluffton. The male was from Minnesota and did not even possess a valid driver's license. Right now I suppose he's slowly recovering in that Savannah hospital.
There are a few warnings that immediately come to mind. First, if you are a regular reader of my blog, by all means stay away from Dollar General stores. They are bad business whether you're a welfare mom, Amish or a South Carolinian pedestrian.
Second, always remember that there are genuinely crazy fools out there. It doesn't matter how good a driver you might be. Watch out for the other guy!
And third, if you are traveling in these here parts, keep in mind that NASCAR aficionados take their driving pretty seriously. That said, even they manage to screw up every once in awhile, especially the deranged ones.
Stay calm and carry on,
Paul on Hilton Head Island, SC
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